Hello!  

Welcome to my collection of 2D boyfriends (ᵕ˃ᴗ˂)

Be warned - these pages are mostly going to be unhinged ramblings! I do not claim to have anything insightful or well-reasoned going on here!

Here is where I document the various fictional characters that have made me lose my mind to some degree - specifically because of their romances. I have favourite characters who don't appear here because you can't actually smooch them in-game (sadly). Some of these are from otomes & dating sims, some of them from RPGs!

Garrus  

Mass Effect

“Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you. Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you.”

"Huh, people on the internet seem to love this guy, I wonder if I'll really like him that much" I said, foolishly, because I am SO UNCOOL about him. And I haven't even finshied ME3!!

I went into these games knowing I'd romance Garrus, and initially I was so bummed that I'd have to wait until the second game, but honestly? Absolutely fantastic, couldn't have planned it better. For one, being best friends before just makes their entiire dynamic just soooo much better. But also, it gave us the beautiful moment in ME1, when he's looking at some poor lovesick guy being like "Pathetic. I can't believe some woman would reduce him to this" - while knowing he's going to be losing his mind over Shepard for the next two games.

"Shepard, sweetie . . . love of my life. Indulge your crazy boyfriend. I need to know you’re safe."

OBSESSED with the fact that when everyone think Shepard is dead, everyone else continues on with their lives, carrying on, finding new jobs. But Garrus decides to go vigilate on a planet of outlaws, tries to do some good, and when it goes wrong, just decides he'll just hang around waiting to DIE. Like fully he was so unmoored by her death that he couldnt go back to the citadel, couldn't hold down a C-Sec job, and in the end couldn't even care about his life, are you KIDDING MEEEE.
And then when we get the reveal that Archangel is Garrus the way the camera pans up, him swaying his hips, and then sitting down with one leg up just so he can throw a "oh hey, Shep, didn't see ya there. What's a gal like you doin in a place like this?" like???? Okay Garrus, you can't both play it cool AND show off. You loser (affectionate).

"You know me. I always like to savour the last shot before popping the heat sink. [extended awkward silence] Wait. That metaphor just went somewhere horrible"

The date shooting in the citadel is also so, so good. I has been waiting impatiently for the romance to pick back up, so this entire scene had me punching the air. "Are you ready to be a one turian kind of woman?" GARRUS YOU DONT KNOW THE HALF OF IT. And then he DIP KISSES HER. I was screamiing, I was freaking out, best couple in the universe. Also, you can choose to let him win, and he's so pleased with himself and is the world's worst winner about it, and I love it so much. Incredible work.

"My name is Garrus Vakarian, and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel!"

The ENTIRE start of their relationship makes me want to eat paper btw. The "sparring" conversation kills me when I think about it, but when he turns up to Shep's bedroom??? Him bringing wine, and then doing a little jog over to the music player, and putting on freaking CLUB MUSIC while trying to "set the mood". He just starts yapping about not really knowing what he's meant to do, he compliments Shepard's waist like "?? is that the correct thing to say??" until Shep puts him out of his misery. So awkward and nervous (ㅠ﹏ㅠ) it's so cringe and so cute okay it GOT me, I love him. And if you want to speedrun the Garrus romance experience, here is 6 minutes of highlights.

"I've seen so many things go wrong Shepard [...] I want something to go right, just once, just-"

As you can tell by the ABUNDANCE of quotes I have here, I just think Garrus is so well written. He's so dryly funny, he genuinely respects and trusts Shepard, he's skilled and loyal and has complicated feelings about what it means to be a good person - the fact that bioware didn't expect us to want to romance him is BAFFLING. But what I adore the most, is that no matter what, Garrus and Shep are soulmates. Platonic or otherwise! Everyone, whether they romance him or not, agrees that those two are bonded. They go through so much through the three games, but you absolutely have no doubt that they would follow each other into hell. Which, I mean, they have! But really, when they're about to do some suicide mission, and they say they'd rather die together than fight alone, I don't doubt that for a minute.

Also, I only found this out reading the wiki, but apparently you can ask Mordin for advice and he sends you painkillers and an info packet on human-turian relations. UM??? But thank you Mordin, what a true friend.

"I couldn't do this without you, Garrus." "Sure you could, not as stylishly of course."

Finally, before I end this ramble - a moment of silence for not being able to romance Tali. She should be here!!! I was 50/50 between her and Garrus until I found out that I'd accidentally made my decision at character creation. Yes this is an actual text I sent immediately upon recruiting her. Tali girl if you are free Thursday I am free Thursday if you are fr-

Fan Art Time!

Fenris

Dragon Age 2

"If there is a future to be had, I will walk gladly into it at your side."

Listen, I love yearning. I love tragedy. I love when my favourite characters go through terrible things. I love revenge plots. I love scary dangerous men, righteous anger, and a character who thinks they've been through so much violence and misery that they can never feel clean again. On a slightly shallower note, I love white haired characters, big sword, Gideon Emery's voice, and sick ass lyrium tattoos. I was doomed from the start.

"Perhaps I’ll practice my flattery for your next visit. With any luck I’ll become better at it."

"Leaving was the hardest thing I've ever done", he says, with Hawke standing right there, a decision he made which will put them in situationship limbo for THREE YEARS. He then proceeds to wear the red cloth that bears the Hawke crest on his wrist for those THREE YEARS. Which is absolutely a totally normal thing to do, for THREE. YEARS. after you have a once off night with your friend. Wearing something that very publicly binds you to them, maintaining a constant reminder of the night you spent together, and the budding relationship that you ended. Also, even if Hawke gets with someone else in the meantime, Fenris never takes it off!!!?? Like Bioware are you trying to kill me.

Anyway, Fenris has some lines that truly make me shatter into a million pieces. Given that so much of his romance is him just.. learning to be vulnerable, the times when you get him to open up hit like a ton of bricks. And of course, "I am yours". WHAT a thing for a guy who literally used to be a slave to say?? Can you IMAGINE what possessed him to say that??

"Why do you even bother going to meet people? Do they ever not try to kill you?"

I know a lot of people play Hawke as a mage which truly adds another layer to this romance but my Hawke was a big sword guy, and I loved that they are BOTH big swords guys. Because this means they fight side-by-side!! Literally and metaphorically. I've always been a sucker for that dynamic - if I get to be on the front lines with a character I'm romancing, then I'm happy. Also, the moment during the final battle where Meredith pins Fenris genuinely had me panicking and fumbling, so getting to wail on her side-by-side later was just, so satisfying.

Also, video of Fenris talking about his trauma and Hawke doing a "hahaha noo you're so sexy don't die" and Fenris liking it?? Freaks (affectionate) (also Fenris' VA, I owe you my life)

Also here is a whole 9 hour video of the entire story of DA2 + Fenris romance which I'm mostly saving for my own future joy. Because clips on youtube have a Hawke that doesn't look like my Hawke T.T

Fenris: Now this is unexpected. I thought all dwarves did was drink. // Hawke: And Varric not here to respond, tsk tsk tsk. // Fenris: He's probably drinking.

I also love how catty Fenris is, particularly towards Anders (who.. I dont love..) and Merrill (who I DO). Him being kind of an asshole is actually a huge reason why I like him, as it turns out.

Anders: And this is one of the better taverns around here. // Fenris: They let you in. It can't be that much better.

Alistair

Dragon Age: Origins

"I picked [this rose] in Lothering. I remember thinking, ‘How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?’ [...] In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you"

Alistair Theirin is like catnip to me. Something about this guy... He is deeply sarcastic, he cannot take anything seriously, he immediately shirks responsibility as soon as you turn up, despite the fact that you've been a warden for about two seconds. He is immature, and childish, and self-centered (he somehow FORGETS that your entire family died last week), and he tries to make himself seem dumb so that he can avoid having to make any decisions. But he's also my favourite guy of all time.

"That's what I here for. To deliver unpleasent news and witty one liners"

He's incredibly sweet, he's brave, he always tries to do the right thing, even though he really, really, really doesn't want to. I think what gets me about Alistair is that at the end of the day, he is just SO devoted to the warden. He is shy and corny and trips up overhimself, and my warden teases him relentlessly which he CANNOT handle. But he clearly adores her. He would do anything to protect her and stand by her side, even if that means charging into a battle (or conversation) that he desperately wishes he didn't have to deal with.

"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together."

Part of why I love Alistair's story, along with my warden, is because they really do feel so young!! These are clearly some 19 year olds with way, way too much responsibility. They have no leaders, no guidance, but somehow they are the only two people who can save the world. He deflects with humour, you cannot get a straight answer out of him for love nor money, and he tries to be this goofy "guy who is totally fine" when he is actually just freaking the fuck out the entire time!!!! Alistair is not okay, at all!! He is barely holding it together!

"It hurts my manly feelings, you know. All one of them."

I think part of what gets me is how his story plays out. Like thats the thing, he does not want to be here!!! I've never seen someone so resistant to their own character arc! (In my save file) Alistair is dragged, kicking and screaming, into a position of power. At NO POINT does he want to be the one saving the world. The idea of becoming king is genuinely the worst thing he can imagine. He just wants to live a normal peaceful life!! And then he gets told his girlfriend is gonna die if he doesn't have sex with this woman he kind of hates. And then, at the Landsmeet, after he's just had a argument about her, his girlfriend just declares that he's going to be king even though he just TOLD HER that that is the last thing he would EVER want??? And the whole time he is just in the DEPTHS of DISPAIR.

But what can you do? He loves her so much. So he agrees. To save her, he agrees to father some son who will never know him. And to save his country, he agrees to become the king he was never raised to be.

It's difficult to talk about why I love Alistair without also talking about how much I love my warden too. Elisa Cousland is going to be the death of that man, I imagine there are days when he almost wishes he didn't fall in love with someone so strongheaded. Life would certainly be quieter!! What kind of woman announces that you're going to marry her and become king without even checking with you first? My girl, thats who.

"They say you can get anything here. I once got pickpocketed." "I locked myself in a cage once when I was a child. For an entire day. Ahh... good times." "Well aren't you just chock full of useless trivia today."

! SPOILERS for Kei & Takeru's routes Collar X Malice !

Kei Okazaki

Collar X Malice

"It's your own fault for getting involved with a bad guy like me , so let me get what I want, alright?"

I love a white haired anime man who is clearly not okay. I laid eyes on this freak, saw everyone else call him an unsettling weirdo, and said "That's my man". Gimme the boy with ISSUES.

Kei is (arguably..?) the closest to a yandere route in this game. He actually never goes totally off the deep end, even in his bad ending, which yknow I was a little disappointed by at first. But actually it's incredibly funny. Guy who would be insane, except that would make his girlfriend sad, and since he refuses to ever make her sad = actually an okay guy who just says some unnerving shit every now and then.

"I want to be kinder towards you than anyone,but at the same time, I want you to let me bother you."

Kei's entire deal is that he wants a death with meaninig. His job is to be a bodyguard for important people, and it's a job that demands you be willing to sacrifice yourself in order to keep someone else safe. Kei.. um.. takes this a bit far though.

He is terrified of a meaningless death. And the only way to make sure that you die the way you want to, is to make that decision before fate does. As a consequence, Kei is constantly charging head first into dangeous situations, genuinely hoping that he will be killed so that he can martyr himself.

On first meeting Ichika, he is incredibly suspicious - and for good reason, to be fair. At one point he PULLS A GUN ON HER. And that's when I knew... I knew I had to strap in for one hell of a ride. He does change his tune though, once he realises.. hey if she's so important to Adonis' plans.. then maybe she's worth dying to protect. Ichika does NOT want him to die at all, and is fairly horrified when she realises the man she's been falling for has a death wish, and specifically wants to die for her.

She rightly calls him out on being incredibly selfish - he gets to have the death he wants, while she has to suffer the consequences and the guilt of knowing that he chose to die, and chose it because of her?! I was cheering at this point. Go Ichika!!! And she gets vicious with it!! She's like "well when you die I'm gonna go and fall in love with someone else, and then I'll actually get to be happy. Maybe Yanagi? And it'll be none of your damn business because you'll be DEAD. Because you're a coward." Like girl!!! Oh my god!! But she's so right I would be crashing out too!! Man I love Ichika. She saw this man was fucked up and said "not on my watch" and it WORKED.

"Now I'm holding onto a wish that's greater than my death wish [...] I don't want to be apart from you. I want to be together. That's all." "I'll pout if you tease me too hard"

Kei does also step up to tick the "men are wolves" otome box. Some people are put off by his.. forwardness.. and I totally get that. After he confessed to Ichika and she asks for time before she responds, he kisses the top of her head, saying "Just let me have this one, alright?" and sure, that's cute enough, except he follows it up with "I don't want you to hate me, so I'll stop there for now".. (ó﹏ò｡) huh? Our boy does walk a fine line between just being a little desperate to be close to Ichika and actually being a little concerning. Thankfully he never does cross a line... It certainly does add to the feeling that you have no idea whether you're on a good or bad ending route. ESPECIALLY since I thought he'd go full yandere at some point.

Anyway, Kei does of course have the usual overprotectiveness you'd expect from his character type, especially given his obsession with protecting Ichika. And I eat that shit uppp!!! He insists on walking her home at night, always holding her hand, he..uh.. stalks her to make sure she's safe.. okay yeah its a lot!! But it's also sweet and kind?? He's never totally reformed, even after he's agreed to live for her, he does tell Ichika "Keep your promise [to stay alive], okay? If you don't then I'll die too.".. okay so he did just say he'll kill himself if we die. But who cares, I am so here for this!!!! If I cant have my men obsessive in fiction then where I can I?

Takeru Sasazuka

Collar X Malice

Why are you worried, when I'm with you? Go on. Explain yourself, stupid."

Wait, here, I have a stamp for occasions like these...
( ᵕᴗᵕ) Perfect.

Takeru is like, tsundere final boss. He is genuinely rude and unpleasant, he is cold and dismissive, and regards Ichika as an annoyance who'll only slow him down. He outright threatens her when he first meets her, and insults her basically constantly. When you google him, the first suggested result is "Is Takeru Sasazuka a good guy?".

Like he's such a little shit - Ichika brings him food when he's sick, ends up falling asleep in his bed, and wakes up in his arms (I'm not going to explain how this happens, we just nod and say thank you to the writers who do what they need to do to give us cute scenarios). She is embarrassed, but he was awake first and waited for her to wake up so he didn't disturb her, it's incredibly cute, right? Then he starts with "ugh.. I can't feel anything in my arm.. People's heads are heavy even when they're empty." (•̀⤙•́ ) "the snoring and teeth grinding woke me up" Takeru when I get my hands on you, you.. you..!

Of course he then turns around and decides to be cute and starts teasing her, acting as though they got up to something salacious the night before, which makes me like him again - he's clearly flirting with Ichika, trying to get a rise out of her - but then he tells her since she's awake then she should hurry up and leave. ( •̀ - •́ ) boy you are pissing me off.

"Pull yourself together. And if you still can't, then throw your burdens on me."

Of course, there is the moment when the insults start to sound more like terms of affection.. I actually loved how slowburn their relationship was. Once she proves she'll actually be useful to the case he begins to thaw quite a bit. He won't admit it, but that gives us the fun of watching the world's most begruged gift-giving session every time he wants to thank/compliment her and diverts by giving her snacks instead.

Honestly they're both practical and determined people, so it makes perfect sense that their relationship wouldn't really start as quickly as the others, and that gives it more of a stable foundation. They have a terrorist cell to take down - theyre not thinking of romance! But.. it's natural that your partner would be someone that you trust, who you turn to for help and support. The person who can be strong for you, who reminds you why you've trying so hard in the first place. It's kind of difficult not to fall for that person, isn't it?

"Look at me, idiot. What are you crying for? [...] You have me."

Even the kiss (the kiss!!!) - which comes from nowhere, way before there's any confessions, is Sasazuka's way of reassuring her. While berating her for crying, naturally. But the fact that they had somehow become close enough for that to not be weird and overstepping?? And the fact that this was how he chooses to comfort her - it's so funny to me. Talk about not knowing how to communicate your feelings..

"You're already mine, stupid. Can't you see it? Do I have to explain everything to you?"

Astarion

Baldur's Gate 3

"You trusted me when that was an objectively stupid thing to do"

I wish I had this page when I was deep in Astarion obsession hell because let me tell you this would've been an ESSAY. And probably a FANFIC. And maybe a PLEA for HELP. Right now it's pretty barebones, but I WILL come back to this. Couldn't leave him out because Astarion was probably the bane of my friend's lives for months after BG3 came out, I would not shut up about this guy. If anyone deserves a spot on this page, it's him.

I was, of course, obssessed with him but more than that I was genuinely unwell thinking about him and my Tav.. I had a whole story. A whole plot line that low key ignored actual canon events. In my game I actually chickened out of Ascending him, because it DID feel like such a shame to throw away all that character development. But I love a tragedy, and I love stories about characters giving in to their worst impulses at critical moments, and even better if they're a pair that only make each other worse. So, in my heart of hearts he and my warlock/consort Tav are out there to this day, terrorising the people of Baldur's Gate, plotting for and against each other, and having the world's most unethical sex. I was so invested in this, The World's Most Problematic Couple, that I drew my first ever first of fanart. And I don't draw!! Couldn't tell you the last time I'd picked up a pen before that, but I needed to make what was in my head real!

For real though, I was having a hard time when BG3 came out, and my brain latched onto that game. It became a lifeline for me, and so naturally daydreaming about the characters was like my favourite thing to do when not actually playing the game.

← this is included in tribute anyone who had to suffer my ramblings

Caspar

A Date with Death

"Hello, Sunshine. You look like you've seen a ghost."

It's a chat-sim with a white haired easily flustered man you know I am locked in!!! First time I played this game it was actually a little bit embarrassing... I genuinely was like, giggling and kicking my feet over this 2D man. Painful... but so much fun!!! Cuteness aggression going crazy every time I see a picture of this guy.

"You don't have something better to do on your days off, mortal? You have so few, and you use them to torment me."

I will admit, the dialogue tree is more of a dialogue.. stream. But thankfully, its incredibly fun. The flirting in this game is essentially just mercilessly teasing him and making him flustered, or else being goofy and pissing him off. Both equally amusing!! I myself have the most fun when I am playfully bothering or tormenting someone, especially if I am flirting while doing it, so me and the player character got along just fine. I would’ve chosen these responses even there were others to pick from!

Casper is also obviously what makes the dialogue so fun. He is incredibly serious about his job (i.e. killing you), which obviously doesn’t exactly go hand-in-hand with also having a crush on you… You’re also the first human he’s ever talked to, and he’s trying so hard to be intimidating! And he is not good at that! Early game it’s fun to wind him up by not believing that he is actually a grim reaper, and late game its fun to wind him up via the AGGRESSIVE flirting that happens.

"You just... overwhelm me, sometimes. [...] No one has ever pulled at my heartstrings so."

I’m also a sucker for a doomed/forbidden romance. And boy if this isn’t both!! The game does play out super fast, you go from strangers to total soulmates in seven days but shhhh we do not play romance games for the realism, we play them for the butterflies. And this game provides the butterflies!! Also, given the speed/context, Caspar is absolutely quite tsundere for most of the game. He absolutely refuses to admit that he’s falling in love, up until he DOES. And even then, only while bemoaning the fact that it happened at all. But in a very sweet way, I promise, he is hopelessly in love by the end of the game.

"You are the bane of my existence, and yet, I desire you above all else"

And now, some of the many screenshots that I've taken of this game, because honestly they illustrate why I had so much fun better than I can explain with words.

Sylus

Love and Deepspace

"Shall we go for a joyride later?"

Okayyy who's been keeping track? White hair ✔ dangerous ✔ smug/cocky ✔ antagonistic at first ✔ secretly in pain ✔ fighting on the frontlines together ✔ bad boy ✔ secret softie ✔ legendary yearner  ✔ attack dog ✔ a tease ✔ tragic backstory ✔ would do anything for his girl ✔
The verdict? I was never making it out alive with this one guys. Infold made this guy specifically tailored so that I'd fold.

"You're the first person who dared to tell me what I can and can't do."

Obsessed with the dynamic between Sylus and MC. She's basically a cop, he's literally the head of the mafia, he has killed SO many people, yet she is apparently so chill and down to do mafia shit with him. Love my morally grey girlie.

"I'm keeping you around because you're still useful. And.. I truly enjoy watching my prey struggle"

I will admit, Sylus calling her kitten cringed me out at first, but I've adjusted. Especially cause it always sounds like he's never totally saying it seriously. Also, one of the first cards I ever got for Sylus was No Defense Zone, which LITERALLY has him on his knees with MC gloating over him (yes, okay, in a dream) and that truly formed their whole dynamic in my mind. Mafia boss who's scared of no one and nothing, but god knows he's not getting in between his wife and whoever's pissed her off. People are scared of Sylus but he's like man, I'm not the one you should be worried about.

I get Sylus is meant to be the "dominant CEO" type and sure, he is, to everyone else. But not to MC. She has him utterly wrapped around her finger, and he obviously knows this. He may act tough but you can tell he would do anything for her, and there is no better quality that that.
He encourages her ambition and her drive, he respects her strength and treats her as a true partner in crime. And yes, occasionally literally encourages her toward a life of crime - but he just wants her to succeed!!

If you're going to mark your territory, aim higher. Claim me and my territory. From now on, how you leave your mark... It's your call.

He also teases her constantly - it's actually difficult for me to find quotes for this page because so much of what he says is like.. extremely veiled affection. Or he says it in a way that makes it sound like he's mocking her instead, like calling her kitten. Very much BOTH a pet name and way of playfully mocking her. And I cannot get enough of that!! Him being like "I don't care if you leave, you're a grown woman you can do what you like. It is raining though. Sorry yeah I don't have an umbrella to give you. Yeah my car is in the shop too." like okay.. you can admit you want her to stay. (Which MC says to him, and his response is like "well if you figured it out, why are you still standing at the door?")

Also man he's so COOL!!!!! Whatever about him being a great and supportive boyfriend - he's got red and black smoke powers and drives a motorcycle and is basically invincible and kicks ass!! MC is such an action figure, she's an accomplished hunter and I feel like with Sylus, they just go around running the criminal underground and being the slickest most dangerous couple in the world. This gif is from a scene I literally screen recorded to send to my friend cause I thought it was so cool ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩) yes they kill some people in that scene, whatever, it's cool as hell and they looked great doing it. Obsessed with the speed with which they go from bickering to locking the fuck in. Also the face he makes when he says "I'm being honest. You know that." Obsessed.

Stay tuned for more characters! Maybe the next guy wont have white hair this time. Miracles CAN happen